What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ), and Why Does it Matter?

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Let me start this article by saying although there is something to be said for using a fake laugh to change your mood or attitude, putting on a fake smile to show up in the world if you are unhappy is NOT how I want you to show up. Deeply understanding your emotions is a powerful tool to live your best life so let’s talk about the importance of Emotional Intelligence and EQ and start leveraging the wisdom they provide!

Quickly as you see in the graphic below IQ (Intelligence Quotient) is thought to be related to how smart or intelligent one is – your “know how” so to speak. This has been what we often judge ourselves or others on, at least in a school setting but also in life. Over the last 30+ years though EQ has been gaining ground as we start to really get to “know you” or self-reflect. EQ actually stands for emotional quotient but is often used as Emotional Intelligence. EQ is much more than just knowing yourself so let’s explore it a bit deeper.

Also know we may switch between EI and EQ, but honestly, EQ is more popular in my world.

It's time to learn about the difference of IQ vs EQ and the true importance of Emotional Intelligence

We all have that one friend that we know and that we just can’t do without. Every time we speak with them, they make us feel better— they’re that friend who can make friends without effort. And can calm uncomfortable situations with little difficulty.

Have you ever wondered how they do this? You may have noticed this and attributed it to your friend being a “people person.” You may think, this must be why everyone likes this person.

But what if it is known that this “people person” is this way because they have certain traits? Yet, you, too, can learn these traits as well. Would this be something you’d like to learn? Would you like to be a people person, too?

If yes, it might interest you to know that your friend is a “people person” because of EQ, Emotional Quotient, or, in a simpler term, Emotional intelligence.

What Is Emotional Intelligence (EI, or Emotional Quotient - EQ)?

Emotional intelligence, or EI, is a concept potentially coined as early as 1964. Yet it really gained popularity in 1995 in the best-seller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, written by Daniel Goleman.

He defined EI as the set of skills and traits that guide leadership. We will use this other definition to make it more relatable to us. 

Emotional intelligence is the ability to use, comprehend, and manage emotions. Whose emotions? Yours and that of others.

People who have a high level of emotional intelligence are particularly good at some things. Emotional awareness, for example, is one of them. Those with high EQ can easily recognize their own and other people’s emotions.

They can also use such feelings to help themselves solve problems and think more clearly. They can also control their emotions when necessary and assist others in doing the same.

According to researchers, the following 5 components make up emotional intelligence:

Hellagood Life Emotional Intelligence EQ chart

1. Self-Regulation or Self-management

This refers to the ability to understand and regulate your emotions, thoughts and behaviors in a healthy way. It also includes being able to take the initiative, as well as following through on commitments and changing your behavior to suit changing situations.

2. Self-awareness

Self-awareness involves being aware of different aspects of the self including traits, behaviors, and feelings. When you’re aware of your feelings and their influence on your thoughts and actions, you know your strengths and flaws and have self-confidence.

3. Social Skills OR SOCIAL AWARENESS

Social awareness involves the ability to understand and empathize with others, particularly with people from different backgrounds than one’s own. When you have social awareness, you can perceive other people’s feelings, requirements, and concerns.

  • Social awareness enables you to feel comfortable in a social situation.
  • As a result, you will also recognize the balance of power in groups you associate with.
Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center shared this list on skills that develop social awareness…
 
  • Identifying social cues (verbal, physical) to determine how others feel
  • Taking others’ perspectives
  • Demonstrating empathy and compassion
  • Showing concern for the feelings of others
  • Understanding and expressing gratitude
  • Recognizing strengths in others
  • Identifying diverse social norms, including unjust ones
  • Recognizing situational demands and opportunities
  • Caring about and being motivated to contribute to the well-being of one’s family, friends, school, community, the environment, and the greater good
 
To go a step further, Social skills are the skills we use everyday to interact and communicate with others. This is the ability to understand how to build and maintain positive relationships. It also helps you communicate well and inspire and influence others. Managing relationships will help you to collaborate with others and resolve disputes with success.
 

Indeed digs deeper and shares several ideas related to employment and career development, but here are six examples they share of important social skills…

  1. Effective Communication
  2. Conflict Resolution
  3. Active Listening
  4. Empathy
  5. Relationship Management
  6. Respect

4. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to recognize, understand, and share the thoughts and feelings of another person, animal, or even a fictional character. It is the ability to take their point of view and/or walk in their shoes. 

Empathy helps us connect with other people. It opens us up and allows us to see and feel what they are going through and often is the catalyst for wanting to help other people. It is a powerful tool for becoming more cooperative or collaborative in a community.

5. Motivation

Motivation means enjoying what you do and getting excited by setting and accomplishing goals. It is what causes you to act, whether it is getting a glass of water to reduce thirst, reading a book to learn something, filling out an application for getting a job, or giving your loved one flowers to show you care. Motivation is the force that activates one’s behavior to do something.

When someone possesses these 4 characteristics, we can call them emotionally intelligent. Knowing what makes up emotional intelligence is excellent, but why should it matter to you?

What is the Impact of Emotional Intelligence?

1. Your academic or work performance

Business and career goals

High EQ can assist you in steering through social difficulties at school or at your job. Those with high EQ succeed at leading and encouraging others, bringing them success, whether on the job, at home, or at school. In schools we are now seeing what is called SEL or Social and Emotional Learning to tap into EQ.

2. Your physical well-being

Self Care: Is It Selfish or Mandatory?

If you can’t manage your emotions, you can’t control your stress. It can cause extensive health issues. For example, uncontrolled stress raises blood pressure.

  • It also raises the risk of strokes and heart attacks. And it can even speed up aging. Developing emotional intelligence helps maintain good physical health, preventing all these.

3. Your relationships

family meeting and community is important for wellbeing

Your relationships and belonging are essential. You will communicate better if you develop emotional intelligence. Also, when you know how others are feeling and can respond appropriately, you will form stronger bonds at home, at work, and at school.

Beyond making you a "people person", Emotional Intelligence is vital for success in life.

It will open up new doors and allow you to connect with others. In the end, you’ll feel happy and satisfied because of having this beneficial attribute.

So how does one get started learning and applying EQ ideas and skillsets? Well that is a big part of what I am trying to do at Hellagood Life. I am a firm believer that stepping up your EQ creates powerful and successful leaders able to build thriving communities and making more positive impact on the world. Below you’ll find one of the main courses I built to train people on mindfulness. This 8-week course is called the SELFCARE mindfulness course and it will help you build a deep understanding of yourself and others.

Want to try adding mindfulness to your self-care routine to overcome those Hellabad Times? Click below to get details about my latest mindfulness course.

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