Pleasure or pain?

Obviously we often want more pleasure and try to avoid pain at all cost. Is this healthy though?

Why Chasing Pleasure Won’t Make You Happy And What to Run After Instead.

We’ve all heard the old adages of “you need to do your work before you play”. To many of us, these old adages seem like necessities only because of arbitrary rules. Surely, if we had all the time and money we could need, without having to do chores, study, or go to work – a life of partying and living the dream would be for the best, right?

Well… Maybe. Let’s dive a bit deeper into happiness and, more importantly, why chasing
pleasure won’t really make you happy.

Happiness is Never Enough

If we automated all labor (as this is what’s happening in part right now) and had all the spare
time in the world, then why wouldn’t we be better off for it?

The simple answer to this is that our bodies simply weren’t made for that.

Biologically speaking, our nervous and chemical reward systems aren’t attuned to the easy and fast fulfillment of our evolutionary needs.

This is why, for example, our bodies make fatty and sugary foods so tasty.

Because in the primordial savannahs where our brains did the majority of their evolution, these foods were rare, and getting even a bit of them made sure we didn’t starve if we didn’t find food for days.

However, when a bag of chips or cookies costs a measly sum of just a few dollars and we can buy it at every convenience store just a few blocks away, but our brains “haven’t gotten the message,” so to speak, and because of it we get an obesity epidemic.

Trust me! On my current journey to weight loss really changing diet is no easy task when my little ones love chips and candy and ice cream and all kinds of other junk food.

When we explore this abundance or ease of accessibility we may find the same thing can be applied to happiness – even if you have all the money in the world, the ability to lounge around all day, and doing nothing but fulfilling your desires – we find it isn’t good for your mental health. I can speak to this truth.

These ideas may be anecdotal, a.k.a. unscientific examples, but depressed, divorced, and unfulfilled millionaires or suicidal celebrities are unfortunately sad proof of this.

Happiness Rebranded

All of that said, of course, happiness and pleasure aren’t inherently bad things.

It isn’t necessary that we have a soul-crushing or psychically exhausting job, even if we
have the option not to do so.

The answer to this is to rebrand pleasure or happiness while still attaining it in the end, but by happiness not being the main goal. This could be as easy as taking time to be present in the moment, right here, right now.

As one great philosopher once said: “pursue fulfillment and happiness will come. Happiness is a natural product of fulfillment, but it doesn’t work the other way around”.

Sex makes you happy – working over the complex issues of a relationship and learning to
compromise – not so much, but it guarantees a fulfilling and stable environment that provides the former.

Creating music can bring you happiness, but if you want it to be a truly worthwhile song, you
have to go through hours of practice, possibly disagreements with your bandmates, and paying for equipment.

You get the gist.

If one adopts this simple mindset, they don’t miss out on happiness, no one is saying we need to live in a cave like a hermit, like the stoics might suggest, but they change their priority.

At the end of the day, if you still don’t believe this to be the best way forward, there is a simple thought experiment to illustrate the whole debate:

If every day of your life is the most pleasurable and blissful one without any hardships, then
wouldn’t the next super amazing day be just… normal and mundane?

Answer this for yourself!

Final thoughts…

Without pain would we even know pleasure? Is it not those awful times that make us realize how wonderful a good day is?

Also remember that the hedonic treadmill is a bit like a heroin addict. That first fix is just bliss, but the more we use the less bliss we get and so we need to continually do more and more to try to reach those early highs.

One of my heroes, Thich Nhat Hanh always says… “you have more than enough to be happy right now.” This takes a real mindset shift but is pretty miraculous when you can pull it off.

Other Resources on Pleasure or Pain…

Here are a few article I wrote about pleasure or pain and related topics.

Pleasure or Pain: Why Chasing Pleasure Won’t Make You Happy