Time to get real
So I am going to dig into thoughts on depression because in 2013 I fell into depression and stayed there for 2 years and honestly, I’ve been feeling a bit of it swirling around lately. Honestly, I want others to know what this looks like because so many suffer in silence. Maybe because they don’t realize they have depression or maybe it is out of fear of being labeled as crazy or weak.
My purpose in life is to challenge people to become innovative leaders so we can change the world together and in this article, I want to challenge you to explore our dark secrets or mental health and help me bring them to light and show how normal this stuff is and how we are NOT crazy or weak or broken if we end up with depression or any other mental health issue.
Let’s jump in…
What is Depression?
This is where things get tricky. Obviously I am no doctor, psychologist, or therapist of any kind. I am just someone who’s experienced some rough times. I do read a lot of positive psychology type books and take courses and practice a lot of self-care due to my bout with depression 8 years ago. So I’ll try to share a bit of my story and other ideas I researched a bit.
If you ask a group of people who’ve suffered from clinical depression to define the illness, you’ll hear a variety of answers. Depression is a very personal experience that millions of people all over the world experience.
Different people manifest different symptoms, but one thing is certain: depression is a
difficult illness that can destroy your life if left unresolved.
This is why it is so important for us to talk about this stuff and make it common conversation in society. We need folks to first understand it but second build habits or routines to work on the problem.
Many people with depression describe it as a sense of despair that engulfs everything they do and everything they feel.
If you think being depressed is akin to feeling sad because your favorite team just lost the championship game, you really have no idea what suffering from a true depression is like. Depression is much deeper and more invasive than sadness or frustration.
Depression takes everything away from you…
…it saps your energy, focus, concentration, and especially your joy. You just don’t care about anything; nothing matters and even the people you love become unimportant.
I often dealt with self-worth issues. If my business was down or I lost opportunities or had clients putting me through the ringer I would sometimes wonder – why am I here? do I matter? is my life adding value to others or the world? It sometimes got pretty grim. I was not suicidal but did wonder what good I or my life were. I can see how people got suicidal by staying in that space for an extended time.
By the way, If you are feeling suicidal, please reach out for help. You can go to https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ which is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website or call them 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255.
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If you’re depressed for a long period of time, you become accustomed to the feeling and
any other emotion becomes unfamiliar and even frightening. Sadly becoming used to this feeling allows it to build slowly over time.
Do you know the story about boiling a frog? If the frog is put in a pot and the temperature is turned up one degree at a time slowly the frog will not jump out of the pot. They get accustomed to the current temperature until they reach a boiling point and… well they boil to death. Getting comfortable in these feelings is probably how I ended up creating the perfect storm where multiple traumas hit and other struggles to push me into depression.
Again, I am no expert or doctor and I was not even clinically diagnosed, but I can tell you that you DO NOT WANT TO END UP WHERE I WAS AT MY WORST. Trust me it was bad.
Physical Concerns of Depression
In addition, depression can lead to:
Lack of sleep. Depression can cause insomnia, which strips the body of the necessary sleep to function properly.
Poor nutrition. When depressed, many people fail to take in proper nutrients. It takes too much effort to plan and prepare a meal. This can cause several health problems.
Aches and pains. If anyone tells you that your mental state has no effect on your physical state, they’re wrong. When you’re depressed, the chemicals in the brain that signal pain are as affected as the chemicals in your brain that help you feel happy.
• Physical aches and pains are increased, which in turn, kicks in the sad feelings and the cycle begins again.
HYGIENE ISSUES. SOMEONE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION DOESN’T HAVE THE ENERGY OR THE MOTIVATION TO BE CONCERNED WITH SELF-CARE.
I can say my sleep went to shit. I was up all hours of the night partly because I had nothing in the day to look forward to or do. Having a messed up sleep pattern can really lead to so many more problems.
As for food I was just eating crap on some days and others I was less interested in food. Everyone’s experience may be different, but as you know an unhealthy diet can wreck you health.
Honestly because I was self-employed and not going anywhere, in this state I did stop showering and even my tooth brushing routine was disrupted at times. Obviously, this just made things worse.
What are the Symptoms of Depression?
These are some specific things those with depression experience:
- Constant and severe sadness about everything
- Hopelessness
- Insomnia or trouble sleeping
- Irritability
- Trouble concentrating
- Loss of interest in things that once interested them/you
- Feeling worthless, useless, and strangely guilty for no reason at all
- Serious change in weight, one way or the other
- Lack of energy and fatigue
Depression is a serious condition and should be taken seriously.
As depression progresses, it feeds on itself like a snowball rolling downhill. The longer
someone is depressed, the worse the depression gets until they see no way out of it at all.
They become resigned to being miserable all the time. Remember the boiling frog analogy?
Depression can be caused by a certain event, the change of seasons, a loss of someone close, or even a chemical imbalance in the brain. The treatment for depression usually involves counseling or medication that helps alter brain chemistry.
I highly recommend seeking expert help. Sadly, I struggled to get expert help. Jumping through hoops with my insurance company was awful so I just gave up. Trying to search for a therapist when I didn’t know what the problem was (at the time) made it confusing and tough to find support. Lastly as my depression was partly due to my business hitting a bad patch, money was tight and some of the therapists I did find charged high hourly rates that I struggled to afford. All these issues perpetuated my problem and sank me deeper and deeper into my depression.
I started desperately grasping at straws trying anything I could to get out of this mess. Daily meditation was a huge help. I also build a self-care routine where I tried a bunch of things – positive videos, music, movies, and books, exercise, taking walks, getting outside to get sun light and vitamin D, better eating, better sleep, fake smiles, positive affirmations, joined supportive groups, and the list goes on an on. I honestly believe you need to build a self-care routine that works for you. Also mix it up and add and remove things if it stops working for any reason.
If you know someone who is depressed, the best thing you can do is… be his or her friend.
Talk to them and help them through this period. Help them seek medical care to treat their illness. Also do not forget the power of just listening to them and letting them rant about things. Be supportive and nonjudgmental and ask questions and just be there for them.
If you think you may be depressed, talk to a health care provider. Depression doesn’t have to ruin your life! With help and support, you can conquer your depression, move past it, and go on to live a joyful life. I am living proof of this. It is no easy task, but it helps when you know that it can be beat or at least dealt with in a healthy way.
It also helps knowing normal people get depression. It is much more common than you think. By NOT talking about it we are harming ourselves and also keeping mental health a taboo thing in society which harms other folks. Talking about it and learning about mental health actually make it easier for society to deal with depression in a normal and healthy way.
Thanks for reading this article. If you have other tips I missed, please share in the comments. If you have questions, feel free to ask them in the comments. If you found these ideas helpful, then by all means help me make this conversation more public by sharing it as much as possible. Together we could save lives and change the world for the better.
Thank you!
One last thing… another resource you may want to look into if you are not suicidal, but dealing with depression is SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration). SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
This meme is a great overview of other causes of grief besides death (which is very important as well). Please know that these things can also lead to depression. Certainly parts of these were in my own struggle.
If you’d like to add Yoga to your self-care routine, check out the Mindful Yoga Program below to help you learn 40+ Yoga poses to practice in your life.