Dealing with Imposter Syndrome?

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Introduction to Mindfulness & Meditation - free mini-course

Lesson Overview

Story of Our Lives

This is an autobiography exercise all should be able to relate to.

Inner Calm

This is a meditation for inner calm.

Mindfulness

How are mindfulness and meditation connected and how do they work?

3-Minute Meditation

It's important to have easy and quick tools to use at any time.

Dig Deeper

Next thoughts to help apply these practices to your daily life.

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36 Forgive Yourself Quotes and 7 Tips on How To Use Them

36 Forgive Yourself Quotes and 7 Tips On How To Use Them

What are "Forgive Yourself Quotes"?

Making mistakes is human. However, you may struggle to process guilt from your errors or forgive yourself for past mistakes. However, self-forgiveness is an incredible healing tool that leads to a happier and more fulfilling life.

What is Forgiveness - Oprah's Aha! Moment

Let’s quickly start with the basics and wrap our heads around “forgiveness”. As you watch this Qprah video pay attention to how the definition is about forgiving someone else and then take a moment to reflect on how this could be applied to forgiving yourself.

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.”

The Importance of Self-Forgiveness

Self-forgiveness involves uncomfortable emotions and facts, but it will improve your mental well-being, relationships, career, and physical health. Instead of critiquing yourself for every mistake and failure, you will learn to embrace yourself as an imperfect human being who fails now and then. As a result, you will enjoy peace of mind and focus on things that are important to you.

Watch this TedX Talk on self-forgiveness to see this concept in action.

How "Forgive Yourself Quotes" Can Help You

If you are unsure of where to start with self-forgiveness, these quotes can guide the journey. “Forgive yourself quotes” give you the perspective necessary to break free from guilt and shame and remind you about what is really important. So let’s jump in…

36 Forgive Yourself Quotes

Quote 1 –

“Forgiveness is choosing to love. It's the first skill of self-giving love.”

Mahatma Gandhi Tweet

Quote 2 –

“Forgiving yourself, not guilt, increases personal accountability.” @DavidDBurnsMD

David D. Burns Tweet

Quote 3 –

“It’s toughest to forgive ourselves. So it’s probably best to start with other people. It’s almost like peeling an onion. Layer by layer, forgiving others, you really do get to the point where you can forgive yourself.”

Patty Duke Tweet

Quote 4 –

“If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end, the real forgiveness is in one's own self.” - @DrMayaAngelou

Maya Angelou Tweet

Quote 5 –

“Forgiveness doesn't change the past, but it does change the future.”

Paul Lewis Boese Tweet
Paul Lewis Boese - self-forgiveness quote

Quote 6 –

“Perhaps, if you knew then what you know now, you would have done it differently. You are a different person today. Forgive yourself, and move on.” - @GermanyKent

Germany Kent Tweet

Quote 7 –

“Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself, and be good to yourself, because, without you, the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.”

Leo F. Buscaglia Tweet

Quote 8 –

“Forgiveness is really a gift to yourself – have the compassion to forgive others and the courage to forgive yourself.” – @Ma_Radmacher

Mary Anne Radmacher Tweet

Quote 9 –

“We all make mistakes, don’t we? But if you can’t forgive yourself, you’ll always be an exile in your own life.” – @csittenfeld

Curtis Sittenfeld Tweet

Quote 10 –

“Forgiveness is for yourself because it frees you. It lets you out of that prison you put yourself in.” – @LouiseHay

Louise Hay Tweet

Quote 11 –

“All we have to do is forgive ourselves wholly and completely for ever thinking that we aren't good enough!” – @JodiAman

Jodi Aman Tweet
Jodi Aman​ - self-forgiveness quote

Quote 12 –

“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.” – @Oprah

Oprah Winfrey Tweet

Quote 13 –

“How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself.”

Publilius Syrus Tweet

Quote 14 –

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” – @SteveMaraboli

Steve Maraboli Tweet

Quote 15 –

“Once you forgive yourself, the self-rejection in your mind is over. Self-acceptance begins, and the self-love will grow so strong that you will finally accept yourself just the way you are. That's the beginning of the free human race. Forgiveness is the key.” – @donMiguelRuiz

Don Miguel Ruiz Tweet

Quote 16 –

“Never forget that to forgive yourself is to release trapped energy that could be doing good work in the world.”

D. Patrick Miller Tweet

Quote 17 –

“The more you know yourself, the more you forgive yourself.”

Confucius Tweet
Confucius - forgive yourself quote hellagood life meme

Quote 18 –

“Forgiveness is man’s deepest need and highest achievement.”

Horace Bushnell Tweet

Quote 19 –

“It's such a great moment of liberation when you learn to forgive yourself, let the burden go, and walk out into a new path of promise and possibility.” – @Johnodonohue

John O'Donohue Tweet

Quote 20 –

“Forgiving yourself, believing in yourself, and choosing to love yourself are the best gifts one could receive.” – @BrittBurgunder

Brittany Burgunder Tweet

Quote 21 –

“Our sorrows and wounds are only healed when we touch them with compassion.”

Buddha Tweet
Buddha - forgive yourself quotes Hellagood Life meme

Quote 22 –

“No one can or will ever feel your pain as much as you. Forgive yourself for the past, seize the gift of the present moment.”

K.J. Kilton Tweet

Quote 23 –

“The simple truth is, we all make mistakes, and we all need forgiveness.” – @TheDesmondTutu

Desmond Tutu Tweet

Quote 24 –

“True forgiveness is a self-healing process which starts with you and gradually extends to everyone else.” – @drrobertholden

Robert Holden Tweet

Quote 25 –

“Bring it up, make amends, forgive yourself. It sounds simple, but don’t think for a second that it's easy. Getting free from the tyranny of past mistakes can be hard work, but definitely worth the effort. And the payoff is health, wholeness, and inner peace. In other words, you get your life back”

Steve Goodier Tweet

Quote 26 –

“The journey to forgiveness begins in pain and ends in hope.”

Brenda Seefeldt Amodea Tweet

Quote 27 –

“Your inner critic is simply a part of you that needs more self-love.” – @AmyLeighMercree

Amy Leigh Mercree Tweet

Quote 28 –

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Lewis B. Smedes Tweet

Quote 29 –

“When we give ourselves self-compassion, we are opening our hearts in a way that can transform our lives.” – @self_compassion

Kristin Neff Tweet

Quote 30 –

“Forgive someone today. Especially if that someone is you.” – @TheGinaGreenlee

Gina Greenlee Tweet

Quote 31 –

“The only person we have the right or the power to forgive is ourselves. For everything else, there is the Art of Acceptance.” – @bnidhuibhir

Rebecca O’Dwyer Tweet

Quote 32 –

“Take a walk through the garden of forgiveness and pick a flower of forgiveness for everything you have ever done. When you get to that time that is now, make a full and total forgiveness of your entire life and smile at the bouquet in your hands because it truly is beautiful.”

Stephen Richards Tweet

Quote 33 –

“To love yourself, you must forgive yourself of your mistakes – all the things you’ve done or left undone.” – @jenapincott

Jena Pincott Tweet

Quote 34 –

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” –

Bernard Meltzer Tweet

Quote 35 –

“When you initially forgive, it's like letting go of a hot iron. There is initial pain, and the scars will show, but you can start living again.”

Stephen Richards Tweet

Quote 36 –

“We forgive others, yet we rarely forgive ourselves. It's time to forgive yourself.” –

Dan Curtis Tweet

7 Tips to Use "Forgive Yourself Quotes"

There are many ways to put forgive yourself quotes to work. You might start by picking two or three that really resonate with you right now. Then you can try using them in multiple ways to internalize and own the ideas being shared through these wise people.

Try to find ways to implement or practice the actual reflection and daily practice so the idea starts becoming the way you think, respond, and act on a daily basis and before you know it you will be more self-compassionate and self-forgiving. Over time you will find you are more empathetic not only to yourself but to others as well.

Here are some ideas to try…

1. Speak some "Forgive Yourself Quotes" to yourself as daily reminders

So I’m a fan of Kristen Neff’s quote “When we give ourselves self-compassion, we are opening our hearts in a way that can transform our lives.”

What if I started saying this 3 times a day as part of my daily routine? I would be planting seeds and reflecting on self-compassion, right? In doing so, my heart would start opening and it would make self-forgiveness easier and more common and this would transform my life.

I could say it in the morning when I wake up, take a moment to say and reflect on it at lunch, and then plant this idea in my consciousness at bedtime. If I did this 3 times a day for a few weeks imagine how this idea would start to seek into my unconscious and become how I start treating myself with kindness and respect on a deeper level.

2. Share them with family and friends on social media to spread positivity

As you become more skilled at your own self-forgiveness you will start to notice when family and friends are being critical of themselves. By having a few of these quotes internalized and memorized you can share them with family and friends.

I like Jena Pincott’s quote “To love yourself, you must forgive yourself of your mistakes – all the things you’ve done or left undone.” You can see that if this is one you internalized and lived – how easy it might be to gently share with family and friends.

If done in a gentle nurturing and supportive way this could really help your friend to remember that practicing self-love means forgiving ourselves even in tough times or when we make mistakes.

Sharing these ideas could become something you do and something you are known for. In my eyes helping people is a really powerful way to live life to the fullest and build deeper connections with friends and family.

“To love yourself, you must forgive yourself of your mistakes – all the things you’ve done or left undone.” – @jenapincott

Jena Pincott Tweet

There are multiple ways you can share – including these…

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
Pinterest
Email

3. Print and frame one of your favorite forgive myself quotes

I am someone who likes beautiful artwork surrounding me and really enjoy when it is inspirational and supports my growth. You could take a quote and hire an artist or graphic designer to add design style on one of these quotes making it like a piece of art. 

Or if you are creative or crafty it might be a fun project to do yourself. You could do a painting, calligraphy, a collage, or needlepoint. Whatever art/craft is in your wheelhouse or that sounds fun.

Imagine creating and viewing a framed piece of art with one of these “forgive yourself quotes” on it. How uplifting could this be? How could the repetition of seeing this quote over and over again be?

“Forgiveness is choosing to love. It's the first skill of self-giving love.” – Mahatma Gandhi Forgive Yourself Quote

4. Make the quotes your phone or computer background

Today we spend a lot of time on computers and smartphones. Why not leverage this by supporting our personal health and growth? Just like the above idea of making a quote a cool piece of art to see on a regular basis in your home, why not do a similar thing for your digital home?

I personally have an inspirational image on my iPhone home screen wallpaper so I am constantly reminded of my goal and what I am working on building in my life and in my business. You can do the same on your phone home screen or lock screen as well as on your computer or tablet. This has been a really powerful reminder for me that keeps me focused on what is important to me and what I am working on in my life.

5. Write them in your journal

I am not a master journaler, but I know journaling can be a powerful self-development and healing tool. You could add the quote(s) you like on the cover of your journal. You might also add it at the top of all your journal pages to review and reflect on as you journal or you could just write the quote from time-to-time.

There is some science that explores how physically writing things down can really help you lock the idea into your mind and/or connect with the concept in a deeper way.

Heck, you might even recall back in high school teachers punishing you by writing some idea to try to work on changing behavior. We are kind of doing the same, but not trying to punish ourselves but we could write a quote 10 times, or 20 times, or 50 times or whatever to help us really lock in some of these powerful ideas and to start applying them to our lives as soon as possible.

We could also read the quote and reflect on how it makes us feel or use them as a writing prompt of sorts to explore either feelings or maybe thoughts on how to apply the concepts more within our life.

6. Print the quotes on t-shirts and mugs

If you like coffee or tea getting these quotes again on a mug that you use often could reinforce the concepts on a regular basis. The same is true with t-shirts. If you are a t-shirt person every day you wear this t-shirt is a day you constantly reflect on the powerful concept. These options also offer the ability to potentially have a conversation about this quote and why it resonates with you which can offer another strong way to connect deeper with the quote by verbalizing it and its meaning to you to a friend.

7. Place the quotes on your vision board

Another way to work on building this into your life and your daily practices could be by adding it to a vision board. This touches on my of the above topics of trying to get the quote(s) in front of you and in a way that allows you to sit and reflect on the concept. This might also lead into the bonus I will share next…
BONUS PRACTICE: Forgive Yourself Quotes used in Meditations

If you know me well, you know I am pretty passionate about meditation. Try using forgive yourself quotes or a single forgive yourself quote as an intention from time-to-time. You could use it for your meditation is another way to just… kind of marinade your mind, body, and spirit in this concept or quote. 

It could even become a part of a Metta or Loving Kindness meditation where you add part of it to your verbal cues – “May I learn to forgive myself” or “May I free myself by self-forgiveness” or whatever. You might also explore using a short one while chanting or as a daily mantra.

Forgive Yourself Quotes Conclusion

Self-forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s necessary to improve physical and mental health. The quotes above will help you kickstart the self-forgiveness journey as you also learn to be compassionate towards yourself.

I hope a few of the quote really resonate with you and that one or two of the tips for using the quotes inspired you to try building a new healthy habit to establish a new or stronger “Forgive Yourself” practice.

Good Luck!

Peace, Love, and Respect to you, my friend!

Want to try adding mindfulness and meditation to your self-care routine? Click below to get several self-compassion meditations to start using as soon as you sign up.

Start Reprogramming Your Mind with some Self-Compassion Mediations Audio Files you can use now!

I've create a group of guided meditations that are all helpful for building self-compassion. These are audio files you can listen to on your phone or computer. These are free guided meditations so if you are interested, I'd love you to have them and hope they serve you well.
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LIMITING BELIEFS ASSESSMENT TEST

Want to dig deeper into what might be causing the internal struggles and self-criticism?  You might want to explore internal limiting beliefs you have. Self-limiting beliefs and being critical on yourself are a real problem that can keep you locked up. Minimize your self-limiting beliefs by understanding them better with the free Limiting Beliefs Assessment Test!

Are you ready to find out what’s keeping you from success?

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Who Am I To Want To Save The World? I'm Filled With My Own Self-Doubt, Struggles, and Self-Worth Issues.

Who am I? Thoughts on self-doubt.

What do you do when Self-Doubt and/or Imposter Syndrome pop Up?

Do you have imposter syndrome? or self-doubt?

As a so-called expert in the self-help personal development space how do we still leverage all we know, but find ways to overcome our own self-doubt when it arises? That’s a damn good question.

These questions may be coming up right now…

  • Aren’t you supposed to be beyond self-doubt?
  • Aren’t you supposed to know the way to avoid suffering?
  • Don’t you have access to all the tools to beat this kind of thing?
Well, to be honest with you, I’m asking myself these very questions, but one thing I CAN tell you is we will never create a life WITHOUT suffering and struggles. So even the biggest guru or expert will still experience rough times.
 
As an example, one of my favorite “experts” or heroes in mindfulness is Thich Nhat Hanh and in 2014 he had a stroke that left him wheelchair bound and unable to talk. He was 87 when the stroke hit and he continued on, even teaching for the next 8 years of his life (he died January 22, 2022. He was only able to use his left arm and facial expressions (from my understanding).

As you can imagine having a stroke like this would be pretty devastating for most people. Most people would give up and probably want to wither away and die. He continued on. He continued tea meditations with his sangha community or small groups.

 

Does seeing others handle suffering well inspire us?

Thich Nhat Hanh teaching how to overcome suffering of all kinds including self-doubt.

Well, this is a tricky question. It could totally inspire us or it could also allow self-doubt to sink in deeper and open us up to thoughts of us NOT being a superstar like Thay. In my case it inspires me, but I also question why I’m making such a big deal over smaller struggles in my life.

What do I have to complain about?

What do I have to complain about. I have so much including an amazing family.

That is a great question. This morning a friend in my circle shared they was homeless for 5 years. Luckily, I have never experienced homelessness, so how can I complain? I have a home, a great family, regular meals – so what is there to make me feel so lost at times?

I think, for me, I don’t know – what my issue actually is. I struggle to define it or put it into words. All I know is I feel lost at sea, alone, helpless, failing, sad, incompetent, and just worthless at times.

Why?

Probably lack of consistent sleep. My mind is busy and goes crazy if I wake up to go to the restroom or if I’m warm or something. For some reason my sleep routine is not great and getting the 8-hours of sleep I want hasn’t been easy for the last year or two. This is why I started looking into understanding and studying sleep as I cover in my new Deep Sleep Course.

Living in Texas, I struggle to get outside regularly. I mind the heat and we had a stretch of 100+° weather for 75 days and no rain in this time (summer of 2022). It was a brutal summer. Sadly I spend too much time in my home because I work from home and serve clients around the globe. This makes me lethargic for the last 20 years and I think it is taking it’s toll.

Recently, I have had my refuge, my meditation sangha group, going through many changes. Our fearless leader moved and we are now scrambling to get several members to step into fulltime-ish leadership roles. Several of the leaders, including myself, are stepping into bigger roles to keep the day-to-day stuff going. This is great, but also a struggle to share the leadership details as a group instead of being lead by a single individual for the most part.

Raising my kids over the summer took it’s tool on me. I felt I was not being the parent I knew I once was because I had different things on my plate and my boys needed different things that I felt very unskilled or ill equipped to provide. 

For about the last 3 weeks we have noticed a raccoon broke through the roof of our home to seek a safe nesting place. This hindered my sleep as I could hear her right above my head at night usually around 2:00 am. We had a mini-staycation planned right when this happened which slowed down getting her out.

And try to live by doing no harm took research to find a safe resource to get her out without killing her. When someone or something is invading and destroying your home, it is hard to NOT move to wanting to kill them.

This was a costly removal (thousands of dollars) and being in a slow season with my business, this weighs on me a bit. This is were self-worth questions come in – what am I doing? Who am I to want to do this? Why is it not happening faster? Etc, etc.

Wow! That was some list and this is only scratching the surface, but hopefully you can see where I am at.

What Is Self-Doubt? (A Definition)

Berkeley Wellbeing Institute shared this as a definition…

Self-doubt can be defined as a state of uncertainty about the truth of anything (Braslow, Guerrettaz, Arkin, & Oleson, 2012). It could be about our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, opinions, decisions, self-views, or any “truth” we hold in our minds. We have a sense that we are not stable. However, researchers further suggest that self-doubt specifically involves questioning our own self-competence (Braslow, Guerrettaz, Arkin, & Oleson, 2012).

So what do you do to overcome self-doubt and suffering?

I truly believe a big part of this is related to mental health and positive and consistent self-care.

As I jump into the HOW, I will first share a few thoughts from a Forbes Magzine article titled How To Beat Self-Doubt And Stop Selling Yourself Short and some of their insights before sharing my own thoughts today.

In the Forbes article, they shared these tips…

  1. Embrace Doubt As Part of Being Human
  2. Doubt Your Doubts
  3. Call Out Your Critic
  4. Make Your Mission Bigger Than Your Fear
  5. Build A Tribe of Believers
  6. Train The Brave. Daily
These are all great tips and really helpful. Explore them and the article deeper if you’d like more on these ideas.

So I started writing this article in late summer or early fall of 2022. I am picking it back up and although all the above feelings and emotions are true. I can tell you some of the wisest words I’ve learned from my Buddhist teacher are on impermanence – basically – this too shall pass. So yes, the imposter syndrome has moved on.

How, you may be asking?

Well, in all honesty it was through keeping on, keeping on. Through persistence a few things changed. The kids went to school. We got my youngest in daycare/preschool first for 3 days a week, then for 5. This freed up time for self-care and the ability to serve my business and in the wither I picked up 3 decent sized accounts and a few small ones. I again had autonomy.

I was able to start getting things fixed that were just weighing on me before. I felt good about myself because I was able to do some great work and prove it was valuable work. Sadly getting self worth from your job is NOT recommended, but this is one of my struggles.

I was able to take the family on a roadtrip to Pennsylvania to see family over Christmas and have a blast on our trip with time to sightsee. Currently I now have built a new course and a new free tool that seems to really be resonating with my audience and accomplishing many things I’ve been working on for the last 2-3 years.

So part of the answer is commitment and stick-to-ited-ness. My persistence paid off. My marketing business is moving in a positive direction and now Hellagood Life is growing and gaining traction that is very exciting.

I’m not going to bullshit you and say I never struggle, never have self-doubt, never see waves of low self-worth, but I will tell you this… deep down, I know I bring a lot of value to the world and I do believe even in the darkest of times I am helping make a positive impact on the world.

This may be souly because I live by my purpose to challenge people to become innovative leaders so that we can change the world together. When times are dark, I push on through doing little things that will move the needle forward and THAT is what truly helps.

Find your purpose in life and you may be surprised how it helps you to get through the tough times.

If you do not have a clearly defined purpose defined for yourself, I’d ask… would you like to create one? This is something I’ve done a little bit of consulting on and know it can be a game changer. Right now it is a bit time consuming, costly, and very 1-on-1 which is great but most get scared at the thought of time consuming, digging deep and also the money to be honest.

That said… I AM working on refining the process and building a more systematized approach to do everything in a more timely manor and at an affordable rate. So if you are interested, let me know. This is a compass of sorts helping you always point in the right direction which makes dark times easier.

The last piece I will say related to this is sometimes it is our own head-trash and negative self-talk that causes these big problems If you are struggling with any of these self-worth issues maybe you’d like to try me new Limiting Beliefs Assessment Test to see if you have any of the main self-limiting beliefs that gets many people stuck and pushing us to the downward spiral of self-doubt. Trust me, I continue to do work on my own limiting beliefs.

Are you ready to find out what’s stopping you from success?

Discover the beliefs that are holding you back. Discover what your inner obstacles are doing to you, so you can leave them behind: I want to take control of my future TODAY!
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Learn to break away from self limiting beliefs and self limiting thought patterns.

BREAK AWAY FROM SELF LIMITING BELIEFS & SELF-LIMITING THOUGHT PATTERNS

How well do you understand self limiting beliefs and self limiting thought patterns?

Have negative thoughts hindered your efforts to live, learn, and grow? Your personal beliefs about yourself and your life matter more than you may realize. In fact, those beliefs become the very foundation upon which you build your life.

 

How do you recognize self-sabotaging thoughts?

 

If you are anything like me, you didn’t really know or think about self-limiting beliefs much. In 2010-2011 was my first really deep look into self-limiting beliefs. It was only because I took a sales assessment to grow my sales skills for my other business. I was very surprised at some of the limiting beliefs I had but was excited to start working on them.

What are limiting beliefs

Some common self-limiting beliefs are:

  • “I’ll never be able to save any money for retirement.”
  • “I guess I won’t ever fall in love again.”
  • “Why can’t I find any trustworthy friends?”
  • “I’ll be fat forever.”
  • “I’m sure Pat will get that promotion over me.”
  • “I wish I could take a vacation to Europe, but I know I could never afford it.”
  • “How will I ever live the life I want earning what I earn now?”
 

If you identified some of your limiting thoughts while reading the above examples,
take steps to break your cognitive ties to those thinking patterns.

How do you overcome self-limiting beliefs & self-limiting thought patterns?

In all honesty, I think the first step is awareness. I’d say we all have some self-limiting beliefs, but until we start looking into these ideas we often do not see our thoughts and beliefs as being self-limiting. If we did we would change them, right? Of course!

 

The next step is exploring if our beliefs are true and seeking alternative ideas or ways to think. This can be a difficult task on our own and I typically recommend seeking help from someone who has experience in this area to guide you on your journey. Reading this article is a good first step.

 

Next you would want to build a reminder to catch yourself when you slip up and go back to old thoughts. This could be by sharing with your partner or a friend to help remind you if you say or do things related to the topic you are working to change.

 

Lastly it takes practice doing, thinking, and responding to things differently. I’d recommend picking one limiting belief to work on at a time and them as you make progress it’ll be easier to do the next one or two as you build your confidence around changing these habits.

 

These can be ingrained from childhood so have grace as it might take a while to “reprogram” your belief system. Would you like a few more strategies?

overcoming self limiting beliefs

Focus on these strategies to start thinking in a new direction:

1. Refrain from labeling yourself

If you see yourself as “poor” financially, then you might unconsciously strive to match that label. Or if you think of yourself as “fat” you may be unable to imagine yourself as healthy and thin.

2. Take baby steps

When you continually move towards your goals, you’ll gain the momentum to keep on going. Rather than think you’re unable to achieve success, make a plan of achievable steps to ensure you do.

 

This one is so interesting and motivating if you have a large project like… building a business for example.

 

I started Hellagood Life in 2019 and every year I can look back on the progress and growth both personally and within the business. It truly does keep me fired up to continue working towards my dream company that is impacting the world in a positive way.

 

It all happened slowly though. Deciding I want to give this a try. Buying a domain name. Getting web hosting and setting up the first basic website. Then writing the first blog article. Then building the first online course. Then weekly blogging. etc., etc. to where we are today.

 

You can do the same thing by just deciding you want to do something and breaking it into baby steps and start doing one small thing at a time.

 

For example, perhaps you’d like a European vacation. Instead of believing you’ll never get there, establish a small weekly savings goal of $20, and keep putting the money aside until you have enough. 

 

You might also watch videos or read some books by Rick Steves to keep building the fire and excitement related to the trip. You could even start looking at travel websites to find travel packages or educate yourself on things you might want to do on your trip.

3. Learn to be your own best friend

Love yourself enough to be your own best friend. Do this by giving yourself the benefit of the doubt. Think positive thoughts such as, “I can do this.” When you practice this, you’ll reject self-limiting thoughts.

 

 

In my mindfulness practice and trainings I do several self-compassion meditations to help with this.

4. Believe in yourself

Instead of insisting you’ll “never” do something, say that you can, and then do it. If you turn those negatives into positives, it boosts your self-esteem. Trust that you can accomplish, succeed, and prevail.

 

If you struggle her see if you can find an accountability partner where you help each other stay focus and motivated on this goal (and others).

5. Assess the truth

Ask yourself, “Is what I’m thinking really true?”

 

For example, is it an absolute reality that you’ll never be able to save any money at all for retirement? It doesn’t have to be true, unless you strive for that.

 

Change your mindset by beginning your retirement fund today. At the end of the day, put all your change into a jar. See how simple it is to start saving?

 

Question your self-limiting thoughts. When you realize they’re unrealistic, untrue, and within your power to change, you’ll be able to break away.

 

6. Recognize how powerful your negative thoughts are. You create who you are by what you think about yourself

Why not turn that power into positive energy that drives you towards the things that you want in life? Trust me you can do this and it will change your life forever.

7. Learn from prior errors

Instead of using your past against you, think about the knowledge you’ve gained from each experience. Maybe an important relationship dissolved a few years ago. The loss of that relationship doesn’t mean you’ll never find another partner again.

 

Rather than getting bogged down with self-limiting thoughts, reflect on the shortcomings of your previous relationship. What part did you play? If you proactively learn from your past mistakes, you’ll make healthier choices in the future.

 

Remember this could be anything though. Things related to health, or career, or finances. Look at any negative situation as learning opportunity and say to yourself… “what can I learn from this situation?” and “What positive thing can I take from this negative situation?” You might be surprised what you find.

 

 
When you apply the above strategies to your life, you’ll see the possibilities that are
all around you. You can do anything you set your mind to. Extinguish those self-limiting beliefs right now so you can start embracing the good life that’s yours for the taking.

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self-doubt and feeling lost

What To Do When You Feel Lost

Did you Ever "Feel Lost" in Life?

If you’ve ever felt lost, you’re shooting par for the course as a human being. Everyone faces this challenge sooner or later. Feeling lost is a sign that you believe your life is on the wrong track.

You may feel like your life lacks meaning and that your future is uncompelling or just uncertain. This is a great time to take a long, hard look at yourself. You can learn a lot during this period. When I was dealing with my depression nearly a decade ago, I was feeling a bit lost. I have been self-employed for the last 23 years and done most of it alone and by myself.

When business goes sideways it is easy to feel a bit lost if there is no one around to share ideas with. It could be related to a career or maybe a relationship ending or loss of a friend or family member. Any of these things can make you start second guessing yourself and your direction.

Maybe one of these ideas can help you get back on track.

Try these activities to find yourself and create a future that inspires you again:

1. Make a list of things you'd like to see in your lifetime

Egyptian pyramids

One of the reasons you may feel lost is that you don’t have anything to look forward to. You can change that quickly by making a list of all the things you’d like to see in your lifetime. Here are a few ideas to stimulate your thinking.

  1. Take a tour in Egypt to see the Pyramids
  2. The Great Wall of China
  3. Ride a horse on the beach
  4. An opera in Italy
  5. The Grand Canyon
  6. The birth of a litter of puppies
  7. Old Faithful
  8. View Mars through a high-quality telescope
  9. A Rolling Stones concert
  • Make your own list and don’t be bashful. Now pick one thing you can do in the next six months. If your list is too extravagant, and six months is an impossible timeline, think harder and add a few more items to your list that you could do in the short-term.
 

2. Make a list of things you'd like to do in your lifetime

Whitewater rafting

What would you like to do or learn? Play bridge or chess? Speak Russian? Master the piano? Go waterskiing? Learn to paint? Take a zipline through the Costa Rican jungle?

I love online learning and I have found some online course related to Japanese Calligraphy, Drawing, Art Therapy just to name a few. Maybe you’d like to write a book. I would like to write a book or multiple books in my life.

  • Think of something you can do in the next few weeks or months and start making plans.
 It could be things like…

  1. Go whitewater rafting
  2. Visit a wolf sanctuary
  3. Attend the Olympics
  4. Meditate with monks in a monastery
  5. Volunteer for a favorite charity
  6. Take an art class
  7. learn to play an instrument

3. Revisit your old goals

Schedule a meeting with Dale Berkebile. Book a meeting with Hellagood Life.

You had a lot of plans when you were a kid. You wanted to be a cowboy or an astronaut or raise llamas. You had more realistic plans as you aged, but you still had plans that interested you. Perhaps you can rekindle some of that enthusiasm by revisiting those plans from the past.

  • Think about why you abandoned those plans. Maybe the reasons you changed your mind are no longer valid. Maybe they were never valid in the first place.

If you are like me, you may have a goals book or journal that you tend to keep all your written down goals. Sometimes going back and reviewing old goals is inspiring because you realize you did several of the things you wrote down, but you might also find a few that slipped through the cracks that might be perfect to work on now.

If you never wrote down goals too much in the past, maybe start a goals journal now. Write down some of the goals we’ve been discussing and put a date on when you wrote the goal and maybe even a date when you would like to accomplish the goal by.

4. Realize that your feelings aren't unusual

Do you get bored while meditating?

Your current mental state is quite common. PsychCentral digs in a bit more on what feeling lost means and how to find yourself. One point made is how this can be similar to depression and it is also said that 1 in 10 in America deal with depression annually so it is much more common than we often think. In 2020, an estimated 66.0% U.S. adults aged 18 or older with major depressive episode received treatment in the past year. Beyond that, Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.

I guess I share this data because we MUST eliminate the stigmas related to these things as there are ways we can treat many of these things related to mental health or feeling lost, and these things are more common than we think but the shame keeps folks for asking for help.

How many people make the right choices consistently in life? Think about this… nearly every adult wishes they could go back and choose a different career. This includes doctors, lawyers, and successful business owners.

It is rumored that approximately half (52%) of American employees are considering making a career change this year, according to Appollo Technical.

Mistakes pile up over the years, and in your mind, the grass is always greener somewhere else.

  • This is all a part of the human experience. The next part of your experience is working though it.

5. Realize that you have a lot of control over your situation

continue learning and build a reading habit

It’s easy to feel hopeless, but you have a lot of choices available to you. It’s a matter of being brave enough to choose the best one and run with it. I might suggest finding a way to work on your purpose in life. A great way to take control of your life is to define your purpose and use that purpose to guide you.

For example, my purpose is to challenge people to become innovative leaders so that we can change the world together.

Defining this took me a long time, but even getting started down this path gave me a lot more direction and control over my life. Once I got this final version dialed in it became a filter to keep me in alignment with what I want to be doing and who I want to be. It helped me clarify how I wanted to show up in the world and how I could be my authentic self.

Are you living as your authentic self or are you finding you have misaligned values that are harming your wellbeing?

6. Find the limiting belief

what to do when you feel lost.

There are plenty of things you might want to do, but maybe you just don’t think you can do them. You might believe that you’re too old, need more education, lack the necessary finances, and the list goes on. Look at your limiting beliefs and work through them.

Feeling lost is synonymous with lacking direction. Finding a new direction for your life is the key to stop feeling lost.

Find a few things you’d like to do and see this year. Plan a future that you find interesting and exciting. Once your mood is lifted, you’ll see the world with new eyes and be able to find new opportunities that excite you.

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Are you living as your authentic self or are you finding you have misaligned values that are harming your wellbeing?

5 Steps to an Authentic and Effective Self-Image for Living Your Best Life

Are you Living Your Best Life?

Your self-image is the way you view yourself. You might view yourself as a parent, construction worker, friend, blonde, sports fan, intelligent, impatient, and middle-aged. But you’re more than your career, gender, and age. You’re more than your parents’ opinion.

You’re a unique person with nuances that are unique to you!

When – who you are – aligns with what you do, you’re living authentically. But most of us view ourselves as one way and live another. Authentic people act honestly and congruently.

Are you living as your authentic self or are you finding you have misaligned values that are harming your wellbeing?

Years ago I went on a journey to explore my purpose in life. It took me many years to figure things out. After failing at getting past self-serving ideas I finally moved on to a clearly defined purpose that I now use to weigh all I do. I am not always in alignment but I spend a lot of time working towards my purpose which is to challenge people to become innovative leaders so that we can change the world together.

You see I believe to live our best life we must find ways to serve based on our best skills and refine and strengthen them by practicing them often, even daily. On my journey, I am seeking how can I best serve humanity and how can I help others figure out how to serve humanity within their most authentic expertise and from their most authentic personal self. Some of my heroes working for humanity are Thich Nhat Hnah, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama. They also failed in ways, but must of had some internal purpose to serve humanity and worked towards honestly being as congruent as possible with that purpose.

 

The benefits of this congruency of purpose are enormous:

  • IT CREATES INNER PEACE
  • IT BOOSTS SELF-ESTEEM OR SELF-CONFIDENCE
  • IT MANIFESTS SELF-UNDERSTANDING AND SELF-COMPASSION
  • IT HELPS WITH LEADERSHIP AND COMMUNITY BUILDING
  • IT DEVELOPS DEEPER CONNECTIONS WITH OTHERS AND ESTABLISHES TRUST
  • IT INCREASES SUCCESS
  • IT GENERATES RESPECT FROM OTHERS

Those that live lives misaligned with their values, beliefs, and attitudes suffer from more depression, anxiety, stress, guilt, and shame. It might seem easier to live up to the expectations of others in the short-term, but the long-term costs are significant. TRUST ME!

I am not sure I saw it as trying to live up to other’s expectations, but it might have been just that disguised as something else. We are good at disguising things or viewing them through a lens that sometimes paints these ideas as something they are not. That is until we are abruptly awaken as I was a decade ago in my depression.

Last Thursday, I was struggling exploring the vision of Hellagood Life and how I can best use this platform to serve this community. It seems I am confused and trying to define who my people are – who I serve – because this will help define how I go about finding these perfect or ideal people/students/clients. 

This problem is enhanced by knowing the work I do is focused on helping humanity, all humanity. Being able to help all of humanity undermines this business marketing concept that if you are speaking to all people then you are speaking to no one and no one is listening as they are unable to see how your solutions help them solve their problems. This idea of WHO is the right fit has been weighing on me. For a long time. Last night it kept me up interfering with my sleep, even causing much doubt in my self and what I am doing here.

Then after finally dozing off for an hour or two, I woke up to notice a friend sharing a movie I’ve been wanting to see called MISSION: JOY. This film is an offshoot of the BOOK OF JOY by Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama. 

Mission: JOY photo by Miranda Penn Turin
Photo by Miranda Penn Turin

Since I was up in the middle of the night stressing out, why not watch something positive to help realign with my purpose. The wisdom of the movie did help me regain some of my mojo but I had to put some of this realignment work on hold once my kids woke up. 

Actually, raising them IS part of my purpose and I have to remember that challenging them to grow into innovative leaders working with me to change the world in a positive way IS POWERFUL WORK. I sometimes forget this when I am stressed out. This can easily slip into misalignment so I work on this often as this may be some of the most important work I can do.

So yes, even those aware of core values and misalignment can screw up and let stress or conflict or uncertainty get them out of alignment, but realizing this is what we can work on realigning things. Here are some ideas to help you understand how to do this work.

Follow these steps to determine your true self and live life on your terms:

1. Identify your core values

An authentic self-image is one that is aligned with your values. By knowing your values, you’ll gain an understanding of what is important to you. Once you’re aware of your values, you can build a self-image and life that are more meaningful and enjoyable.

TO DO ITEM: Make a list of your values. Create a long list and include everything that you think applies to you. Then, reduce your list to the three, five, seven or no more then ten values that are most important to you. You might struggle to narrow your list down, but trust me five are values are plenty and powerful. As they say, sometimes less is more.

The core values I am trying to live by and using to establish the Hellagood Life brand are these five…

 

  CORE VALUES:

  1. Do No Harm
  2. Raise People Up
  3. Build Leaders
  4. Change The World (in a Positive Way)
  5. Build Community

Granted, I understand these may not be easy to figure out, but if you commit to this idea you can do a little at a time and just keep working and refining things. You may find that as you hone your list down to your final three or five that one or two actually are less important to you than one that pops up as you try to live by these values. That is okay. It’s fine to be a work in progress and to learn as you go.

2. Determine if you have any conflicts

For example, you might say that adventure and freedom are two of your most important values, but what if you also strongly favor responsibility and security? Those values could be in conflict.

  • When you’re faced with an inner conflict, you’re likely to shut down and do nothing. If you’ve ever been paralyzed while making a decision, it’s possible your values were in conflict. Think back to when you’ve struggled to make a decision and see if it’s true.
  • Do you have any values listed that aren’t really priorities for you? We often carry around perspectives instilled by our parents, bosses, teachers, friends, or religious leaders. Here’s a newsflash: they may have been wrong. Now often times their intent was to help or guide you to the best solution and meant well but we are all different and have different paths sometimes. Take the time to determine your values for yourself. Disregard what society says you should value. You’re an individual.

3. Create an action plan for each value

Imagine one of your values is frugality. You could create a budget and savings plan that incorporates that value. You might plan to start clipping coupons, visit less expensive stores, and search for free entertainment options available on the weekends.

For me, one of my Hellagood Life values is building leaders. I spent a lot of years studying leadership. I spent many years volunteering under leaders and also practicing leadership for causes I am passionate about. Now I am building this educational platform to and my coaching programs to train and nurture leaders. So on some levels Hellagood Life is my action plan for building leaders.

I have created a dream list of causes I want to work on over the next 20 years through the Hellagood Life brand. This is a list and sort of a vision of some of the WHOs I want to help. You can check out my causes dream list here.

4. Make a list of activities you enjoy that are in alignment with your values

Maybe one of your values is being kind. You could start defining what kindness means to you and how it is demonstrated in actions. Again maybe you create a list of ways to show kindness and just like your values list you shrink your list down to 3 to 5 practices you can easily do daily to be more kind to people, animals, and plants in your life. 

Years ago, I committed to always returning my shopping cart to the cart station, trying to always open or hold the door for people, and waving to every car that drives past my house or that passes me when I am on a walk. I now live these ideas as much as possible.

As I mentioned above, this is where the rubber meets the road so to speak and you can start living your most authentic self. For example, if generosity is a priority, you could find an enjoyable way to spend your time helping others. If health is a value you cherish, you could join a soccer team or a yoga class. Find your favorite sport and participate.

5. Evaluate yourself at the end of each day

Accountability is a huge practice to making this stuff really who you are and how you live. There is an old saying things that get measured get done. You don’t have to get too crazy about this, but for example, I measure my daily meditation practice and am currently up to 552 days as of today. I measure my reading and try to shoot for an hour of reading or a minimum of 30 hours of reading a month and by doing so, I know I can hit around 100 books a year. It is the tracking that helps me live the things I find most important in life. 

Think about the instances when you failed to live according to your values. You may find this is when self-doubt, sadness, or frustration sets in. Likewise, contemplate the times you were able to live according to your values and self-image, particularly when doing so was challenging. You might find a sense of pride and excitement that you were able to accomplish things that at one time may have never felt possible, but you are now doing these things.

 

Recap…

Create a self-image that is in alignment with your values. First, it is necessary to identify and choose your values. Next, construct a life that allows you to live those values consistently and to thrive. Authenticity eliminates many of the common emotional ailments in life, but it’s not always the easiest choice.

Be bold enough to choose the person you want to become and live accordingly. The benefits are enormous. 

What are your values?

Sometimes You Find Others Thank you For Being your Authentic Self and Living by your Values or Purpose

As I mentioned above, I had some self-doubt setting in the last few days (and when I started this article). I was questioning if I was on the right path. I do NOT know WHO my perfect people are per se, but this morning I woke up to this lovely post tagging me on Facebook.

It showed me that although I do not know everything or have everything fully aligned with what business experts have been telling me I need for decades, on some levels I am actually in alignment and living my best authentic self. A business connection shared this post mentioning how I helped her start noticing her negative thoughts and start to end them. This was perfect timing and I think Starr for helping to realize that I am living my purpose which is to challenge people to become innovative leaders so that we can change the world together.

Now Starr is just a friend I have influenced by being me and doing what I do at my best self. The meme is kind of funny being bold about snuffing out negative ideas or self-critical ideas.

Thank you Starr Carter for this great reminder of ways I am bringing value to the world and building leaders through being my authentic self. Here is a link to Starr’s post.

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Can course creators or anyone use healing meditation to help with imposter syndrome?

Imposter Syndrome: What It is & How Healing Meditation Helps

Even Tom Hanks has dealt with Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is the forerunner of self-destruction, but people like Lady Gaga, Tom Hanks, and Tina Fay have learned to keep it in check and maintain success in their fields.

 

Psychological experts simply define imposter syndrome as a collection of thoughts and feelings of inadequacy that remain with you even after achieving success. It is pressing self-doubt and sometimes continuous fear of failure.

 

 

NBC News reports that people with imposter syndrome fall into the trap of procrastination because they don’t feel ready enough to take on a given task ‘perfectly.’ These are mostly people with type A Personality; they may fall into the trap of spending too much time on one task.

 

 

The imposter phenomenon can hold you back from higher heights of success. Despite your long-proven expertise, the imposter syndrome may make you feel incompetent and not worthy of more, bigger, better. You then start spending too much on proving yourself and neglect family and friends.

How do teachers and course creators deal with imposter syndrome?

Imposter Syndrome in Educators

Many teachers, instructors, and educators have these persistent thoughts and feelings “I have no idea what I’m doing as a teacher”, “I’m not knowledgeable enough in this subject to be a great teacher,” “I don’t know why people say I’m a great teacher.”

 

Whether you are an online course creator, business owner that presents, a mentor or coach, or in-classroom teacher, these feelings indicate the imposter phenomenon that has been the destruction of many. Self-doubt suffocates success.

 

On top of the paralyzing nature of these innate fears, there is social media’s effect. When you see star educators thriving in their fields on Instagram or LinkedIn, you may inadvertently be gripped by feelings of inferiority.

Finding happiness through daily meditation.

Mental Healing and Strengthening Through Meditation

Meditation has been found to be incredibly healthy in many ways, including lowering blood pressure, de-stressing, and improving heart rate. But how can online course creators use meditation to overcome the imposter syndrome?

 

Feelings of inadequacy are proof of your humanity as opposed to incompetence. The imposter syndrome indicates a personality linked to strong integrity, mastery, and excellence. Healing meditation can help you leverage this as fuel for confidence and consistent success in your field.

 

With healing meditation, you identify your thoughts and fears for what they are. You learn to become at ease with them and to let them go. 

 

The mental-strengthening effect of meditation gives you a single focus—excellence—and makes you mildly immune to self-doubt and distractive thought patterns. Maybe better stated as it provides better ways to cope with these issues.

 

Meditation grants you equanimity and stability amidst the ever-changing currents of life. Success as an online course creator can be up and down if you do not have things dialed-in perfectly or if you’re in uncertain startup mode. 

 

Reviews can be kind or remorselessly negative. Daily meditation gives you a stable sense of self and a sense of deep self-awareness.

 

Healing meditation is how the earlier mentioned stars maintain focus and clarity on their work and keep breaking records. You can try it as well. The odd thing is meditation can work in different ways for all kinds of different people.

If you’d like to try overcoming any feelings related to impostor syndrome, why not get signed up for the 30-Day Daily-Meditation Habit Builder Challenge. The consistent practice and supportive community could help you build a new practice that continues to shut down those imposter syndrome feelings and thoughts.

 

You’ll walk away with a solid practice, a longer consistent daily meditation stretch than most ever accomplish, and a few new friends supporting your practice.

 

So get signed up today!

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Tom Hanks photo by Dick Thomas Johnson

Teacher photo by Kevin Dooley

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